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Forgetting Me As Her

by Hanah Strawberry

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1.
Nightingale 02:05
Nightingale Don't stop singing your song tonight Keep the sun from rising, keep him by my side Nightingale Don't give in to that old light push him away with these lullabies, and Just hold onto one more moment of this bliss Because I'm afraid that this may be the last moon That takes him away This can't be the last kiss Don't tell me this is it 'Cause after tonight, he'll leave my side Oh Nightingale Work your magic Serenade the moon so the sun won't rise And I swear if you do I'll write more songs for you Just help me keep him tonight
2.
3.
Hold Onto Me 05:45
Hold onto me You can stay safe in my arms I'll keep you sheltered from harm As long as it doesn't find me I'll keep you warm Out of the reach of this storm As long as it doesn't freeze me And you can find me in my Sunday best Waiting for the jest to tell me "love can be" I've heard only fools fall in love And now I guess the joke's on me Confide in me Let your lips be the battlegrounds For words unsaid Let them be the graveyards For all those sore words trapped in your head I'll be their keeper And I'll be your savior As long as you stand by my side That's where you belong Don't forget or get that wrong And you can find me in my Sunday best Looking innocent as Hell I thought only fools fell in love And now I guess I know why you're still around You're wrapping around my words Like a poisonous snake That's twisting in my lungs And makes me crave To make the same mistake to love you But darling what you don't know It won't kill ya that I've already made plans to go Hold onto me 'Cause darling once I leave I'll be gone for good I'm not coming back I'll be out of sight You'll be out of luck Out of mind And my dear You'll be fucked
4.
5.
To Live 05:22
One far and distant thought of you I'll keep you on my mind Like I have a choice to Set the pace of my own life Like each step I take Isn't holding me back I need you to know I'm tortured by our world You're all that I know And I can't imagine living this life alone And so I choose to live with you And your lies and quiet sighs I'll sense it on your tongue Like the love we once clung to One too many sacrificed Nights frozen in your daze So scared I can't go back I need you to know I'm tortured by our world You're all that I know And I can't imagine living this life alone And so I choose to live with you What will my babies think of me One day when they're old enough to see If I leave or if I fight Will they understand the circumstances Of their lives Will I I need you to know I'm tortured by our world You're all that I know And I can't imagine living this life alone And so I choose to live
6.
One morning star dips to greet me To extend a memory upon my lips That you have lived Dreams no longer appease me My sleep's been met by fears and ghosts I thought I let go And once before I felt this loss Felt my body betray my heart I sat and cried and wondered why It had to be this one this time And saying goodbye is never easy Even when it's your choice And knowing I could have held on Makes the parting even worse But we don't talk about it Pretend it didn't happen That's life And I've been finding truth in my darkest hour Feeling low, and quite frankly, on my own Learning to let it go And once before I felt this loss Felt my body betray my heart I sat and cried and wonder why It had to be this one this time And saying goodbye is never easy Even when it's your choice And knowing I could have held on Makes the parting even worse My heart is mendable Sometimes I fall victim to The who, the what, the when, the why, the where, the scares The lies, the doubt, the fear, the truth, the point is moot I just can't get away
7.
It's been raining, pouring, storming I can't get you off my mind And shit's been kind of boring Without you by my side and sometimes I get to wondering What it could have been like If I hadn't sent you out into the rain that night With those old tear drops in my eyes Since you've gone My silver lining has dulled And those old rainbows They've turned to monochrome And now I know I could never leave you alone Don't you ever dare ask that of me Don't you know I would do anything I would do anything to have you In these arms And now I see You are the only love for me And I promise I'll be good If you'll come home to this learning fool
8.
9.
Back then I didn't think much about it The way your lies defined my life And every day I'm still trying to understand That I can't be perfect shaped by imperfect hands And every day I'm seeing more of myself in you And I think I can understand It's not mistakes you made, but the ways you tried That stick out in my mind This world isn't for the weak And I see you two have passed the test of time And after everything that you've been through There's only room for loving you in my life I didn't think much about it The way their lies defined your lives And every day I'm still trying to understand That you can't be perfect shaped by imperfect hands And I still wonder sometimes what they were like What were their fears, their vices, their hopes, their dreams Were they anything like me With open eyes that search for meaning in the tides Hoping one day the lows will be replaced by unthinkable highs And if we just take it one step at a time We'll find the key to happiness in this life I didn't think much about it The way their lies defined our lives And every day I'm still trying to understand That they can't be perfect And you can't be perfect And I can't be perfect shaped by imperfect hands
10.
11.
I Remember 05:56
I remember the first time that I saw you and my heart gave out I still feel the fairytale love and how sure I was I couldn't live without you But there are times I fear we've grown so far from that Your kisses used to keep me warm Now I'm still shivering cold And I'll hold onto those memories close Closer than you Thinking maybe we should let this go Before our memories are washed out too I still love you more than I have ever loved or think I could again My dreams haven't changed I still wake up from visions of me and you 'til the end of our days But there are times I fear we've grown so far from that Your kisses used to leave me warm But I'm still shivering cold And I'll hold onto those memories close Closer than you Thinking maybe we should let this go Before our memories are washed out too I've been wondering about the things that make me, and maybe I should learn to let things go I've been thinking that maybe this love is better than the one I had in my head But there were times I feared we'd grown so far from that Your kisses used to leave me warm But I'm still cold And I'll hold onto those memories close Closer than you Thinking maybe we should let this go-- Fuck it I can't let this go If you ever let me go, I'd hold on close Darling there must be a way so let's work it out Because you are the love of my life
12.
13.
What do you see in me I see someone scared Trying to do what she thinks is right With no real clue what that means or if she's failed And I've been scared before But it didn't mean much then At least it doesn't anymore I'm forgetting me as her As that girl I was before And I've been carrying tension In my jaw, in my dreams, I can't sleep Without seeing the things that I'm fighting Things I thought were long gone came back for me And I've been tense before But it didn't mean much then At least it doesn't anymore I'm forgetting me as her As that girl I was before As I was before

about

Forgetting Me As Her is the product of eight years of writing (and rewriting) songs and poetry. Inspired by the growing pains of young adulthood, each piece in this project has served as an outlet for me to grieve and heal throughout my twenties. Through the process of writing these pieces, I have put a name to my anxiety, addressed the role of intergenerational trauma in my life, and found clarity in moments of emotional turbulence. From current and past me, thank you for listening.

This album is dedicated to Beverly Davenport and Adam Marks. The sound of your warm laugher is ever present in my memory; I cherish every second and note of it.

This project would not be possible without the support, encouragement, ear, talent, time, and energy of Alex Lough. He was there from the very beginning to the end and spent countless hours with this music and text to bring it to life. I cannot thank you enough.

credits

released September 16, 2022

Music, Lyrics, and Text by Hanah Davenport
Performed by Hanah Davenport
Recorded and Engineered by Alex Lough

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Hanah Strawberry Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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